A few days ago I passed 56 revolutions around the sun. One would hope that with time and experience on Earth we would also grow wiser, kinder and more compassionate? But to do so takes work, for as we get older we see faster through the BS.
As I wrote recently, I have become aware of my anger. Simmering like a toxic brew just below the surface. It doesn’t take much to have it erupt. Fortunately I have my daughter, wise beyond her 25 years, to point out this toxic brew as it seeps through the cracks of my psyche. Only last week, as my anger seeped into the conversation about a Muslim women being forced by French police to remove her veil while she sunbathed on the beach in France, (Justified anger, in truth.) my daughter chided me, reminding me again that there is a difference between anger to reduce humanity and anger to take action to restore all humans to a place of value.
I was born fierce. Hurtling down the hallway after my elder brother hissing and swearing, these my first words..bugger bugger bugger…
Fierce is an asset. I will speak up for the voiceless. Every. Time. I can count on me to do that. You can count on me to do that. I will not be silent. Even at the cost of everything. I know this about me. I trust this quality in me.
Yet I have to learn to hone my Fierce. To use it to motivate and inspire positive, elevating action. To never use it for human shaming, destruction, ridicule. Sure…we can point out truth. This company did this action, which is equal to human slavery in modern times. But to project my anger and frustration on another is not the way to a more beautiful world that our hearts know is possible. Telling the truth, which is necessary, and diminishing a human are not the same. (I have written about this in Speak the Truth)
I think of my life dedicated to making the world work for 100% of humanity. Of my commitment to this. Of the price paid by me and all the other intrepid warriors on this path.
And I consider thought pollution. That my anger, criticism, disdain and emotional violence I project towards others..is certainly not helping with my life purpose of making the world work for 100% of humanity. On the one hand I am building up, and the other I am tearing down.
And that this must stop in me. For. Ever.
I think of the world, and its trade winds of thought pollution. Of millions and billions of thoughts tearing down. Inflicting. Hating.
I think of those brave souls who have chosen public life, and the projection on them of thousands, millions, billions of waves of thought pollution. Of hate. How do they carry on? How do they hold their centre? One person projects his own judgement on me and it takes me a day to recover. Imagine that multiplied by millions? We would have to have a thought pollution shower several times a day to remove the toxic waste dump we are buried under.
Is this helping anyone? Maybe the person doing the projecting might feel temporarily better. But as someone who is living in a sea of anger knows, this is not a place where loves breeds with ease.
Yet love is the antidote. So it is to love I turn. To send love, to all of those who find me bossy, harsh, direct, thoughtless (and at times, they will be very right about me as I can be all of those actions)…I am fierce. I am a warrior. I will fight.
My Fierce is my generator. My weapon of choice is Love.
And…to not, under any circumstances continue to spread the thought pollution into the world.
On this week of my 56 revolution, this is my commitment.
Photo credit: Christine McDougall, September 4th 2016, Gold Coast. Reminding us once again that we are custodians of Earth, and that each day it teaches us humility, beauty, love.
2:23AM Integrity is the Essence
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