It is 2.23AM and you are awake. Again.
Awake and there is a black hole. An empty space. A chasm that you cannot deny.
In the day you avoid feeling it by keeping super busy. Or numbing out on alcohol or other poisons.
If you pause long enough and dive into the black hole there is a question that is resolute on being answered, that you are avoiding…so you find yourself awake…again.
And that is the key. To fully enter the black hole. To allow the feeling to be present.To not seek escape through distraction, anger, or addiction.
Imagine the waking as a messenger. Your wiser self. The part of you who always knows. This aspect of self has no other way to get through than by piercing your dreams.
The only way out is through. Into. Into the discomfort. Into the questions. Into the darkness. Into the confusion. Into the recycled thinking. Into the fear.
Avoidance is futile. And let’s be honest…it’s just not working. How much longer are you going to continue to avoid? And live that half life? Quarter life? I know many who have lived 20 or more years in a loveless marriage…more a soulless habit than any form of supportive human partnership. Is this living? For either person?
Here is the secret…diving into the questions, the darkness, the fear and confusion alone is not easy…finding a guide is smart. An experienced guide is even better. And this we will address in the final part of this series, Part 5.
Photo credit: Christine McDougall
2:23AM Integrity is the Essence
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