Most of our human problems occur in the domains of these few key areas.
*The real conversation about sex. What we like, what works, what doesn’t work, our experience or lack of..how to ask for what you want…
*The conversation about purpose, meaning and doing work that matters.
*The conversation about relationship with an intimate other.
*The conversation about our health and vitality.
*The conversation about our relationship with money.
In my experience during the course of our individual lives we struggle with one or two of these areas more than the others.
For example, I have always had great health and vitality. True I work on it daily, invest in it daily. But I also have great genes and therefore a really strong base on which to build.
For what ever reason an intimate relationship has not been on my radar for quite some time. I don’t see this as an issue or a personal failure. I see it just as it is, neither good nor bad. A non issue.
The two that have been my angst partners have been the conversation about purpose, meaning and doing work that matters, and the conversation about money.
As I was reflecting on this today it occurred to me that I may need to change my relationship with money.
What if I treated money, or the pattern holder of what money symbolizes, as a ‘someone’ that I loved to the earth, sky and back?
When we are in love the subject of our love receives the most ardent attention. We care for it, think about it, nurture it, cook amazing food for it, listen with exquisite attention to it…not at the level of addiction, but certainly at the level of care.
I kinda sorta do this with health. It is always on my agenda to pay attention to. Yet my money I often put in the basement, and neglect. Or ignore.
What if I made my relationship to money the new love of my life?
Of course for many of us programed through a Christian puritanical upbringing, we have to fight against some belief that the love of money is the root of all evil. To be clear, I am not talking about having money be my God, my addiction, my obsession. Any relationship where these things exist are not healthy in any way.
I am talking about a very healthy love of money and my relationship to it. A daily engagement and invitation.
A love of how I spend. And how I receive.
What I do know is that we all have issues with money. I have met very wealthy people who have more fear about losing money than I. I have met very poor people who are happy beyond measure. I have never met someone who has zero shame about some aspect of their money history or their worth. (Try it out, take out your bank statements and show them to anyone…without any shame.)
If I looked at my relationship to money as the simulation game discussed in yesterdays blog, then my life has been about mastery of money. I get to practice becoming a master. No shame, no fear, only love. This is where I am headed.
So, for the next four weeks I am going to practice being in love with money. Specifically this means I am going to:
1. choose wisely where and with whom I spend my money and love it when I do. Be conscious when and where I spend, in that moment, as if each spend were sacred and precious, which they are.
2. focus on where money will flow into my life as a result of taking consistent and healthy action
3. attend to my money, my financial records and bills daily. Key, attend/attention/care.
4. tune into where I get wobbly about money and take the time to address this in more depth
5. be really grateful about the money I have, in all forms.
Nothing to lose, everything to gain.
Care to join me?