In some areas of our life we are all being called to step up. I know I am. It required a complete break down and break apart to get this. The universal shake up. A BIG shake up.
In the last few months I have experienced the slow then rapid ‘death’ of the form of my work that has sustained me for the last 15 years. No amount of intention could breath life into a corpse. All that new age stuff about thinking it, willing it, intending it…zero zip, nada…and of course when the ‘magic’ wasn’t happening for me I took the position that either I was showing up ‘wrong’ or something was wrong with me. And the shame of that. The sense of failure. Ughh!!! Not pretty.
What was wrong/right was that I was not paying detailed attention to the themes and schemes of a greater Universal force. My attention was on the corpse, not on the larger patterns and the new things coming in. I was being shaken, to the core, by not paying attention to the fact that I needed to let go. To really let go. To jump completely, into the abyss. In truth the jump was always going to happen, it was a question of jumping or being pushed. I was pushed.
Next time, I will jump. The pain of clinging to the edge is too too much to bare. I had been clinging for over a year…way too long.
Finally it took a loss of my home of 15 years, then 3 weeks in no mans land, living with my wonderful mother, then moving into our new abode, to really let go and choose a new identity, a new career, a new life.
In the decision to say yes to the new home was also the decision to say yes to the new career. They came as a package. Interestingly, the old home and the old career started together. And so they ended together. The end of a cycle.
Now I am being asked to step up. Instead of being on the side lines as a coach, supporting the game on the field, I am jumping into the game, into the arena. Instead of advising how to build a team, I am building a team. I get to be the leader. I get to play the game.
What has been one of the most difficult periods of my life is now morphing into a very exciting stage.
When I think I have no idea what to do next, I remind myself that I don’t need to know everything, I only need to know the very next step. And, more than anything, I need to trust myself. Really really trust myself. I have been studying business and leadership for years. I actually do know what to do. And I know I can do it, brilliantly.
Its my time.
I am clear. I know what the game is, why I am playing it, what is our intention, and what are the desired outcomes. It is a combination of every aspect of my life’s learnings till now.
I am being asked to step up, really step up, Play bigger than ever. Bring my whole self to the arena. And I am up for it. Yes!
While it has been the hardest journey of my life, I am deeply blessed to have been on the path. The learnings have been that immense.
And because I have now let go to the greater impulse of the Universe, the Universe is rolling in ecstasy at my feet, showering me with yes’s, opening doors that had been closed, revealing allies and champions that had been hidden. It feels miraculous. Of course it isn’t. Its just what happens when we get out of our own way.
What game are you being called to play?
Where do you know you need to step up?
Where are you playing too small?
You will know you need to explore these questions because the flow has stopped, you are blocked, nothing is moving….